Funny Fails
by OppsieDasi
Summary: Basically, why I will NEVER get into Ever After High. Feel free to request a character. I do not own Ever After High or it's AWESOME characters. FINAL CHAPTER!
1. No, just no

**Hello! This will be a bunch of one-shots which describes why I would fail at being a character in Ever After High. This will be from other FanFic's (that you should TOTALLY check out), from webisodes, the books and the bookmarks (When you get the signature doll). I hope you enjoy my stupidness.**

**Character of the Chapter: Cerise**

**Static**

Raven: You wanna, talk about it

Cerise/Me: No

Director: CUT! That isn't your line.

Me: I KNOW! But Cerise wouldn't say yes! She's trying to keep a secret here, DUH!

Director: Why did we hire you?

**Static**

Cerise: Er…. Um

Me: RUN CERISE! YOU DESTROYED A ROOM!

Weird Looks from everyone, including Cerise.

Me: WHAAAAT! I'm just saying, she should run.

**Static**

Cerise/Me: I'm dancing at the True Hearts Day dance, Yeah. And I'm spying on Daring because I'm in loooove, Yeah.

**Static**

Cerise: Why would she cry wolf

Me: She didn't, she's saying that you're going to destroy Legacy Day

Blondie: Because I was wrong

Me: YEAH YOU WERE BLONDIE! GOD! You can be so stupid and eager for a story

Cerise: What did I do to you Blondie, are you glad I don't have any friends.

Me: *pause sign comes up* I'm going to stop you there, I think everyone was insulted by that bit. Like Raven says later on "Why do you think we were looking for you, we're your friends." Chill Cerise, Chill!

**Static**

Red: *gives Cerise a sad smile*

_Time Skip_

THE Grandma: *gives Cerise a sad smile*

Me: WHAT'S WITH THE SAD SMILES! SMILE HAPPILY PLZ! Thank you. I'm surprised Cerise hasn't freaked out yet. She must get A LOT of sad smiles.

**Static**

Cerise: Stop with the huffing and puffing already

Me: CERISE! STOP WITH THE DAD PUNS! It gives you away *face palm* I'm surrounded by idiots

Maddie: HEY!

Me: Sorry! Hey, how did you get here anyway?

Maddie: I was waiting for you to end this, Raven, Cedar and I want Cerise back

Me: Ok, I'll finish up. Well, please keep the support coming, and if I don't return with more of these I have Writers block or I'm too busy, DEAL WITH IT

Maddie: *wipes tear from her eye* such a moving speech…


	2. Oppsie has a bunker?

**Guest – Thanks for the suggestion! *evil grin***

**Lola (Guest) – Thanks! I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke…**

**Character of the Chapter: Raven (Credit to Guest)**

**Static**

Raven: D. Charming. Must be Daring. We don't talk that often, but it's more likely than Dexter who see more often.

Dexter: Why D. Charming? *face palms himself*

**Static**

Maddie: Will you two stop FIGHTING! Peace and crackers.

Me: Peas, peace, I get it.

Raven: Who were you talking to?

Me: Maddie, your BFFA! You're standing right next to her.

Maddie: Well the narrators of course! Oh, you can't hear them, only I can.

Me: I can hear them Maddie! I'm insane!

**Static**

Raven: I apparently have contacts to a spellebrity chef.

Me: HEY! Give me credit, I gave you his MirrorMail address.

**Static**

Ginger: *sighs*

Raven: I can't believe they think you're going to follow your story

Me: Not everyone is a rebel Raven.

Ginger: I know. I just want to bake for everyone, but even Gus and Helga Crumb won't eat my treats.

Me: If you want I could eat their hair for you

Raven and Ginger stare at me.

Me: IT'S CUPCAKE ICING HAIR! Cupcake icing is delicious.

**Static**

Dexter lets Raven go first, but accidently shows Raven his MirrorPad, which has a photo of her.

Raven/Me: Are you stalking me?! I know people do this, but not YOU!

Me: *gets out of Raven* KISS GOD DAMN IT! I'm sick of it.*watch beeps* Oh! Time to put Alistair and Bunny together *skips away* BTW THEY BOTH HAVE A CRUSH ON EACH OTHER! I'm better then Cupid. :D

Dexter: When did she even get here?

Raven: Since she acted as Cerise and changed one of the webisodes scripts.

**Static**

Well, that's it for now.

Maddie: Hey OppsieDasi, can we-

Me: Have Raven back?

Maddie: HOW DID YOU KNOW!

Me: You've done the same as Cerise.

Maddie: *frowns*

Me: THE WORLD IS ENDING! I'm going to my emergency bunker, CYA GUYS! *dives out of the page*

Cedar: Is she gone?

Maddie: I think so.

Raven: Never frown again Maddie.

Maddie: :D

Cerise: We kind of wanted to say something but Oppsie didn't want us.

Raven: We would like you to try and suggest a Royal.

Cedar: *whispers to you, the reader* Maddie will blow up if one of us misses her next Tea Party…

Maddie: HEY!

Cerise: Let's get Oppsie out of the bunker…


	3. JELLYCORN

**Guest – No, it can be boys. I will keep in mind your suggestion.**

**Drama Cutie (Guest) – I try my best… at school and at 11 at night**

**TheGreatStorycollector – OMG YOU'RE RIGHT! I bet Briar has the hospital on speed dial. Also, thanks for being my first NON-Guest reviewer.**

**Lola (Guest) – Update!**

**Guest (2) – Will do… later**

**Character of the chapter: Ashlynn! It wa 1**

**Static**

Me: Ashlynn, look! It's a rare JELLYCORN

Ashlynn: What?

Me: JellyCorn. A cross between Jelly and a Unicorn

JellyCorn: *lays on the ground because it can't move and neighs*

Ashlynn: O_O

**Static**

Ugly Stepsister 1: Oh look, its ASH-Lynn

Ugly Stepsister 2: First a secret boyfriend then a secret FASHION show?

Me: He boyfriend isn't a secret anymore, and yes, this is part of Ashlynn

US 1: What?

Me: Oh forget it

**Static**

Ashlynn: Duchess...

Duchess: The lake is in trouble

Ashlynn: *sigh* I'll get Hunter

Me: NOOOO! Forget Duchess and let's get back to our Sleepover party

Ashlynn: How did you get in my room?

Me: The window…

**Static**

Ashlynn: *cries because she's seeing herself in Spring Unsprung* No more, please!

Me: No! You are going to watch all of this!

Ashlynn: I hate you

Me: *evilly grins*

**Static**

Me: Hello! I HAVE TOO MANY DIFFERENT SUGGESTIONS! *coughs* Sorry. Anyway. If you could vote for one of these in the reviews, that would be great. It just saves me having to decide.

-Apple

-Dexter

-Daring

-Brair

Me: This time, no Maddie to spoil things. Hurray! See you guys next time! :D Oppsie OUT!


	4. Jellybeans

**Sorry for the wait! I had NO idea what to do for this chapter's character so I had to do research *cough* EAH Marathon *cough*. Also, if your review isn't down here, it's because I was like "Er…. What do I say?" because I'm socially awkward, in my view anyway. So I hope you enjoy and sorry if it isn't good.**

**Lola – I have actually started on him. I started/finished the first chapter (Cerise) when I have no internet. Being bored out of my mind, I started his. Unfortunately, he was out-voted.**

**Luciayshadow - :P to you too**

**TheGreatStorycollector – I agree. Daring is a good victi- I mean character to do…. Who am I kidding they're victims.**

**SparkesX3 - #Sparkles 4ever :D**

**Character of the Chapter: Dexter!**

**Static**

Me: SUGAAAAAAAAAR!

Dexter: What?

Me: I was hungry so my sister gave me her jellybeans because she hates them so now I'm hypeeeeeeer!

Dexter: Can you not talk so fast?

**Static**

Dexter: Hey Raven, can I ask you something?

Raven: Sure, what is it Dex?

Dexter: Well… Er… forget it

Me: OH MY FAIRY GODMOTHER! Thank GRIMM everyone is watching backstage otherwise millions of people would go and slap you Dexterous Charming!

Dexter: Er….. How did you get here?

Me: Magic, oh! I can't be on camera *vanishes*

Raven: *whispers to Dexter* That was weird

**Static**

Dexter: Why aren't I in the shortened theme tune?

Me: Because no one likes you

**Static**

Dexter: Hey Raven, you look gort- I mean great. I don't even know what gort is.

Me: Then why did you say it? Hu hu? Jellybeans

Raven: Go away

Me: Fine *walks backwards and slowly vanishes*

**Static**

Dexter: Did it hurt?

Maddie: Did what hurt?

Dexter When you fell from heaven because baby you are an angel…

Maddie: You speak riddilish-

Me and Dexven Shippers: *chases Dexter with pitchforks and torches*

Dexter: *runs for his life*

Maddie: WAIT FOR ME! *grabs a pitchfork from her hat of many things and follows*

**Static**

Me: Ok, that wraps up this chapter. I should be able to finish Daring soon, so you won't have to wait long. He's next so no suspense with the character of the chapter. Vote for Briar or Apple. Bye guys! Cya Soon-ish!


	5. Daring's a PLAYA

**OH MY GRIMM! Daring was so hard! But you guys are awesome and I had to do it for you guys. Without further delay, here is Daring! **

**Daring: I don't want to be here**

**Me: No one cares Daring**

**Drama Cutie (Guest) – Here is the Update :D**

**Lola (Guest) – Apple isn't funny… but she will make a great victim (evil laughter)**

**luciayshadow (Guest) - Apple WILL Suffer, don't worry **

**Static**

Daring: But, I'd rather dance with you…

Me: TAKE HER ON A DATE ALREADY! I know you are a player Daring. First you're a Royal, which means you have Apple White, then you take Lizzie on a date for a dare then swear not to tell anyone, then I ship Darise PLUS you dance with her... Am I the only one to realise?

Cerise: O_O We aren't dancing together Daring *leaves*

Daring: WHAT WAS THAT FOR

Me: To make people laugh

**Static**

Daring: I'LL SAVE YOU

Raven: Stop! *casts spell on Daring by accident*

Me: YES! THANK YOU RAVEN! Take that Daring

Daring: *flicks some goo at 'Me'*

Me: HEY! I can kill you, you know. I am the author

Daring: Sorry….

**Static**

Daring: Come on Sparrow, give me a REAL challenge

Me: DYE YOUR HAIR PURPLE!

Daring: You're Crazy

Me: I know…

**Static**

Daring: Wait… so you're saying I don't have a doll yet?

Me: No dolls.

Daring: Or an episode about me?  
Me: Nope.

Daring: Or even a profile page on the official website

Me: Not even close

Daring: *torch in hand* I'm going to burn Mattel

Me: I WILL JOIN YOU! This is for not uploading Spring Unsprung onto Youtube OR your website

**Static**

Lizzie: OFF WITH YOUR HEAD  
Daring: *gets out sword*

Me: NO! I DO NOT SUPPORT DIZZIE! CERISE! GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE!

Cerise: *moves away from Daring, Lizzie and Oppsie*

**Ok guys**, **I have enough suggestions for a while! No need to suggest victims. Please tell me what you think of it, and I'm going to upload a depressing one-shot soon.**


	6. Singing

**Sorry this has taken so long! I have lost interest. (starts crying). Anyway! Onto the reviews.**

**Lola (Guest) – Update!**

**What happened to you guys? Anyway, time to announce the victim…**

**Character of the Chapter: Apple White**

**This. Should be fun (laughs evilly) **

**Static**

Apple: La la la la la la la!

Me: and that burst my eardrums… Wait, how is SHE the fairest one of all is her singing is worse than my sister's?

Apple: You have a sister?

Me: I'm not supposed to get personal… *disappears*

**Static**

Apple: But what should I have for breakfast?

A bunch of boys offer Apple an apple

Maddie: Look at Apple's easy life

Raven: Must be nice, having people do things for her all day

Me: Not to mention boys giving you, well, you. You know, because her name is Apple and she's offered an apple

Raven: Go away…

Me: Fine!

**Static**

Apple: Really Raven? Why would you care? You didn;t want your Happily Ever After anyway.

Me: FIRST OFF! Raven doesn't get her Happily Ever After, because she's the daughter of the evil queen!

Raven: Er… Oppsie!

Me: *ignores Raven* Secondly, Raven is nice, SO SHE CARES! Like come on!

Briar: Oppsie!

Me: *ignores Briar* and lastly, Raven wouldn't let-

Holly: OPPSIE LOOK AROUND!

Me: Oh… *everyone turns depressed* Wait... why aren't I affected? Anyway. Lastly, Raven wouldn't let Ever After be affected by un-wonder. *disappears*

**Static**

Me: *summons Blondie and Apple*

Blondie: Hey! I was working on a MirrorCast.

Me: Good! Because I need to get out about an Easter Egg Hunt.

Apple: Count me in!

Blondie: And you need me… why?

Me: BECAUSE! You're going to be telling people. Or Apple. Either way, I'M NOT TELLING PEOPLE!

Apple: Why?

Me: Because people hate me.

Apple: Oh yeah!

Me: Anyway, GET IT OUT! *disappears*

Blondie: You know, I hate it when she does that…


	7. The Easter Hunt!

**Hello! I realised that I made MANY mistakes, and instead of fixing THIS one and making a new one, I'm combined them together. PS: Banana doesn't actually know Ever After High, in case you were wondering.**

**Pink: Say it!**

**Me: Do I have to?**

**Banana: YES!**

**Me: Fine… I don't own Ever After High or Banana or Pink, they even chose their own names. I only own my house and the Easter Hunt idea. Happy?**

**Pink: Very**

**Static**

Oppsie: Hey guys! Welcome to the Easter Special! We got a few people. Welcoming…. Cerise, Raven, Apple, Daring, Dexter, Ashlynn, Hunter, Maddie, Briar, Blondie and Hopper *the said people come out*

Hopper: Why am I here? I don't even know you...

Briar: Neither

Oppsie: You'll find out. Also, introducing my sister Pink and her friend, Banana

Pink: Hey!

Banana: Yo!

Oppsie: They're acting older than they are. The reason why they're here is because I'm babysitting them. I'm making sure they don't burn down the house.

Pink: Oppsie!

Oppsie: *grins* Anyway. For this Easter Hunt, we'll put you in teams. The following teams are – Cerise vs Everyone Else

Cerise: Hey! No fair!

Oppsie: Ok. I'll do the real teams.

Team 1 – Hunter, Ashlynn, Briar, Hopper, Blondie, Apple, Maddie

Team 2 – Raven, Cerise, Dexter, Daring, Banana, Pink

Dexter: Hey! We have one less person

Daring: And we have 8 year olds

Pink and Banana: Hey!

Daring: It's true!

Oppsie: But you have Cerise

Raven: So?

Oppsie: Fine! Cupid! Come! *clicks fingers and Cupid is there*

Cupid: What's going on?

Oppsie: You're on Dexter's Team. We're having an Easter Hunt *winks at the reader, you*

Cupid: *bats eyelashes*

Maddie: *laughs*

Oppsie: What!

Maddie: I know why you said Dexter's Team.

Everyone stares at Maddie, then at Oppsie

Oppsie: Ok…. there are 2 Easter Bunnies, 7 Small Easter Eggs and 3 Bigger Easter Eggs per team. Bonus point if you can find the Easter Chicken. *throws Dexter and Hunter a clue*

Hunter: A man with flags has the clue

Maddie: Hurray! I know where to go!

Dexter: *clue hits Dexter in the eye, he falls, and his brother, Daring, picks it up. Cupid and Raven run towards Dexter, then has a catfight over him*

Daring: With a huff and a puff, he has the clue

Cerise: *whispers to herself* Oh no…

Oppsie: On your marks get set….. *everyone takes off* Hey!

_With Team 2 (Dexter got back up)_

Cerise: I know where the clue leads us. I'll go get that and you guys can find some without me

Daring: I'll come with you. I can't let damsels go on their own

Cerise: **NO!** I mean, no, thank you...

Raven: Let's go guys

They leave

Cerise: Why Oppsie?

Oppsie's Mysterious Voice: Because….. It's good for the readers….This is very Mystical…

_With Team 1_

Maddie: To the Haberdashery and Tea Shoppe!

Hunter: Er… why?

Maddie: Becaaaause, my dad has flags, like it said in the riddle

Everyone but Maddie: Ooooh!

Maddie: Hi Dad!

Mad Hatter: Hello! Oppsie told me to give you this *hands it to Maddie*

Maddie: It says that the Easter Bunnies are in the Castleteria. Thanks Dad!

Mad Hatter: You're leaving so soon? With no tea?

Maddie: Ok, one cup

Everyone moans

_With Team 2, excluding Cerise_

Banana: So, I actually don't know your names…

Daring: I'm Daring, Prince Daring Charming

Dexter: I'm his brother, Dexter

Cupid: I'm CA Cupid, but everyone just calls me Cupid. I'm the daughter of Eros

Raven: I'm Raven Queen, daughter of the Evil Queen. The girl who just left was Cerise Hood, daughter of Red Riding Hood

Daring: So what about you two? What are your names?

Pink: My sister, Oppsie, said that we can't say our real names.

Raven: Why not?

Banana: For secretary reasons, so no one can murder us or stalk us

Dexter: Fair enough. Can you tell us your fake names?

Banana: I'm Ba- Oh! An Easter egg! *picks up one of the small ones*

Pink: There was to be some more nearby.

_With Cerise_

Oppsie: Cerise snuck down the corridor, hoping no one would see her. She knocked on-

Cerise: Oppsie!

Oppsie: Sorry. I'll shut up now.

Cerise: *knocks on her father's door*

BadWolf: Come in

Cerise: *opens the door* Mr BadWolf (They act formal at school), Oppsie said that you have a clue or something

BadWolf: Oh yes. Where did I put it? *searches for the clue* Ah ha! Here it is.

Cerise: Thanks Da- I mean, Mr BadWolf.

BadWolf: See you around *wink*

Cerise: *winks back and leaves* Hm… What does this mean….?

_Team 1_

Briar: Tea time is over, we have to GO Maddie.

Maddie: Aw… fine. *is about to frown*

Hopper: Don't frown!

Maddie: *frowns*

Oppsie: *freaks out*

Hopper: *gets kissed by Oppsie's friend and turns into a frog*

Briar: Oh HEX no!

Oppsie's friend: *runs from Briar*

Oppsie: *laughs head off* I'm sorry! I had to!**[1]**

Apple: Enough distractions, we have to find the Easter Eggs.

Blondie: Look! I found an Easter egg, and it is Just Right.

Ashlynn: and I think I saw a mice run off with one

Apple: We can do this. Maddie, can you get the Bunnies?

Maddie: Yep! *skips away*

Apple: Let's find some chocolate!

_With Cerise, having NO Idea What Her Clue Means_

Cerise: Ugh! Maybe I shouldn't have waved Daring away… Then again, he's Daring… Ok! Think Cerise. What could it mean?

Maddie: Hey Cerise! Where's your team?

Cerise: I went to get the clue myself

Maddie: They left without you?

Cerise: Oh no! I offered to. Hey, can you help me with this

Maddie: Sure! Why not… Hm… Oh no

Cerise: What?

Maddie: Some of our chocolate is in… Oppsie's House!

Cerise: She has a house?**[2]**

Maddie: Yeah! In the sky.

Cerise: Now I'm glad we got Cupid, er, hey, I could grab a basket for you, so your team is able to carry your eggs.  
Maddie: That would be tea-riffic! I'll come along.

_With Team 2_

Daring: For real now, what are your names?

Banana: I'm Banana and she's Pink

Pink: For your information, we're NOT 8! But we probably should tell you our age either.

Banana: Oppsie would kill us. But we are younger than a teenager

Cupid: Fair enough

Dexter: Cerise is back!

Cerise: *running, making sure her hood doesn't fall off, of course* Some of the eggs are in Oppsie's House! In Oppsie's House!

Raven: Woah! Cerise! Where did you get the basket?

Cerise: My room *puff* why?

_Flashback That Isn't Really a Flashback, But What Happened_

Cerise: *opens door*

Cedar: Hey Cerise

Maddie: Oh yeah! Cedar wasn't invited to the Easter Hunt, was she?

Cedar: What!

Cerise: What she means is-

Maddie: Oppsie is hosting an Easter Hunt!

Cedar: Cerise told me she was going to hang out in the Enchanted Forest today

Cerise: Yeah… *rubs arm* I didn't want you to feel left out so… I lied

Cedar: I'm hurt... sorry! I can't tell a lie remember?

Cerise: I'm just going to get something and we'll leave, ok?

Cedar: Ok

_Flashback That Isn't Really a Flashback, But What Happened End_

Cerise: I also found the Easter Bunnies

Banana: Wow! You've out-done yourself

Cerise: Thanks

Dexter: Wait… what was that with the Oppsie's House.

Cerise: The clue said that some of the eggs are in Oppsie's House

Daring: Well where is it?

Cerise: It's in the sky…

Pink: Oh yeah! I remember visiting it a few times

Raven: How about Cupid flies Pink up there and they can both find them together and fly back down once they have found them. The rest of us well continue hunting.

Cupid: Ok

Cerise: Sure

Dexter: Yeah

Daring: I am beautiful

Everyone stares at Daring

Daring: Whaaaat?

Banana: Is he really this narcissistic?

Pink: Yep

_With Team Uno (1)_

Maddie: Hello!

Hopper: Gah! Don't do that

Maddie: Ok! I'll just add that to my list…. THERE! Also, some of the eggs are in Oppsie's house.

Apple: Where is it?

Blondie: The sky

Ashlynn: I might be able to get some birds to lift me up

Apple: Cool! Also, Maddie…

Maddie: Yes?

Apple: Where did you get the basket?

Maddie: I, er, found it!

_At Oppsie's House_

Cupid: Woah! This house is amazing!

Pink: Follow me, I have a feeling I know where some of the Easter eggs are.

*walking*

Cupid: What is this?

Pink: Oppsie's Computer Room… she plays a game called HexCraft**[3]**, I play it too but she's obsessed with it.

Cupid: Ah…. Oooh! I found a note.

Pink: 'Clever, the eggs are in the kitchen. Pink, remember that you're not supposed to know where this is! –Oppsie' Whoops!

Cupid: Where's the kitchen?

Pink: Here, hey! What are you doing?

Cupid: *mouth full of cheese* nothing!

Oppsie: NO! BAD CUPID! You're paying for that!

Cupid: *spits it out* Sorry

Oppsie: Get 5 eggs then LEAVE!

Pink: *grabs the eggs* RUN!

*Running, then flying*

Cupid: I can't believe we got out alive!

Pink: Me neither.

Cupid: Is she always like this?

Pink: No, but she does get (The rest of this sentence has been removed by Oppsie)

Cupid: Ah! Let's find the others

Pink: Right behind you

_Ashlynn &amp; Birds_

Ashlynn: Thank you George! Can you please stay there? Thank you! I won't take long.

*walking*

Oppsie: Take the eggs from the fridge then leave please

Ashlynn: Aren't you going to stop me?

Oppsie: Ok, I know I'm cruel to you guys, but I'm not terrible! Also, slap your step-sisters and say Oppsie told you to

Ashlynn: Ok… *takes the eggs and leave* Phew! George? Can you take me down please? Thank you! You may go. Oh! And tell Jessi that I said hi!

_Team Egg Collection_

_Team 1 – Nine (7 Small Easter Eggs, 2 Easter Bunnies)_

_Team 2 – Ten (7 Small Easter Eggs, 2 Easter Bunnies, 1 Big Easter Egg)_

_Team Duo? (2)_

Banana: Eggs, eggs, eggs. I can't find any!

Cerise: Neither

Raven: Maybe we should check other places

Dexter: But we should wait for Pink and Cupid

Raven: True

Daring: I shall go on ahead

Cerise: Daring no! We need to be patient

Banana: *whispers to Raven* Daring and Lizzie are better than Daring and Cerise!

Raven: *whispers back* Na! Daring and Cerise

Oppsie: Don't laugh guys! I was shipped with someone I never even met in real life, just through a screen. I was so unhappy, but we had the BEST ship name. Dotti. Keep in mind, they aren't our real names, just usernames.

Banana: Er… what!

Oppsie: I'm off! *turns invisible but needs to narrate*

Raven and Dexter: Is that Cupid and Pink? Oh sorry! No, I'm sorry.

Banana: Best. Ship. Eva!

Pink: Oppsie didn't kill us

Don't test me Pink!

Cupid: We were so lucky! I also found a Big Easter Egg on the way

Cerise: We have one more left!

Raven: OH MY GRIMM! Let's go look!

Dexter: Guys… there's one in the mud *points to a mud puddle, which in the middle of it, are 2 Big Easter Eggs*

All turn to Daring

Daring: I don't do mud

All turn to Dexter

Dexter: I don't want my glasses getting dirty

All turn to… Cerise!

Cerise: Fine, I'll do it.

Raven: Thanks! I don't think my magic would work, it would just explode it or something

Cerise: I'll just step in here and *the mud goes past her knee* Yes, this is totally going to work

_Team 1_

Ashlynn: Where could the other egg be?

Maddie: Hey! There's the other team! Yoddle Who!

Blondie: Is that Cerise

Apple: Yes, is that 2 Eggs?

Briar: Plot Twist! The Last 2 Eggs are in the middle of a gigantic mud puddle! Now we just need someone to go and get it

All Look at Hopper

Hopper: I, Er! *turns into a frog* Of course fair maidens… and Hunter

Hunter: Here we are now, go Hopper, do your thing

_In a Glass Cage above The Mud Puddle With Oppsie, Briar and Cupid (Who I stole from the game to help me commentate)_

Oppsie: Cerise is pushing through the mud, but Hopper is a frog, and has it easier

Cupid: Cerise is so going to win this thing

Briar: Na ah! Hopper is a frog, he'll easily get the egg

Cupid: No! Cerise!

Briar: Hopper!

Cupid: Cerise!

Briar: Hopper!

Cupid: CERISE!

Briar: HOPPER!

Cerise &amp; Hopper: Yes?

Cupid &amp; Briar: Never mind!

Oppsie: *sneezes* Oh no!

Cupid: What?

Oppsie: I have *dramatic pause* AUTHOR'S DISEASE!**[4]**

Briar: Come again?

Oppsie: An illness only Authors can get! It starts off small though. I'm on Day 1 of it

Cupid: So you'll stop torturing us?

Oppsie: Oh no! I'll torture you more!

Briar: Help us!

Oppsie: Ladies and Gentlemen! Cerise has the egg! She throws it…..*dramatic pause again* and Raven catches it!

_Back in the game (I returned Cupid and Briar)_

Daring: Let's go!

Cerise: What about me!

Daring: We'll come back for you later

Cerise: *looks seriously mad*

Oppsie: *sniff* Sorry! I have a cold! Anyway! All players must make it back to the finish line to win

Hunter: Where is the finish line?

Oppsie: Where you started

Hopper: I have the egg!

Apple: Throw it here Hopper!

Cerise: Er… I seem to be sinking…

Hopper: Same!

Oppsie: Quick sand, enjoy!

All: Oh Poop**[5]**

Hunter: To the rescue! *rips off shirt and invisible trumpets play*

Cerise: Help... anyone!

Daring: Fine, humf!

Oppsie: *is in a tree with Kitty, with popcorn* This is so awesome!

Kitty: I can't watch… just kidding! This is too hexcellent!

Oppsie: Pass the popcorn! Oh no…. *sneezes magic which makes the quick mud into water*

Kitty: No fair! It was just getting to a good part

Oppsie: I hate being sick

Cerise: This makes it easier! *sees a shark* Seriously Oppsie!

Hopper: Swim!

Hunter, Hopper, Cerise and Daring swim for their lives

Dexter: Let's hurry!

Both Teams run like their lives depend on it, Cerise being in the lead, of course. Maddie finds the Easter Chicken and lags behind to get it. Team 2 is first across the finish line.

Hopper: Where did Maddie go?

Maddie: I have the Easter Chicken!

Oppsie: Team 1 Wins!

Daring: I demand a re-match!

Dexter: No! No he doesn't!

Oppsie: Feel free to share the Eggs out, I'll take this *takes the Easter Chicken Away* Now Banana, Pink, I think you don't need any more chocolate.

Pink: I'll probably be here more often, so, see you soon! *disappears*

Banana: I've had fun here, I won't have very much chance of being here, but I'm sure I can persuade Oppsie Goo-*disappears*

Oppsie: What! She was taking too long! Team 2, share evenly please!

Raven: But… It's chocolate

Oppsie: Too bad! Anyway! I'm going to lock my door and sleep for a bit maybe. See you guys next time!

**I had SO much fun writing this! I loved writing where Hunter rips off his shirt. I'm not sure, I just liked it.**

**[1] I was skyping my friend and this just came to me. She was like "EW! I don't like kissing frogs" then I was like "So you've kissed a frog"**

**[2] My house also holds my emergency bunker, mentioned in the 2****nd**** Chapter**

**[3] Hexcraft is the EAH Version of Minecraft, a game I AM obsessed with**

**[4] This took several days to do, on the last day (When I'm typing) I think I have developed a cold. Yes. I'm not pleased with myself.**

**[5] I want this to be as child-friendly as possible, so I'm trying not to use bad words**

**Extra Bit**

**Ashlynn: *takes a deep breath and slaps her step-sisters***

**Ugly Step-Sister 1: What was that for**

**Ashlynn: Oppsie told me to!**

**Ugly Step-Sister 2: Who!**

**Oppsie: ME IDIOTS!**

**US 1 &amp; 2: *gulps and runs***

**Oppsie: Don't forget to choose who the next victim is **

**Ashlynn: Wait…. THEY choose our fates?**

**Oppsie: Don't hurt them! I'll get sued!**


	8. Notepads and Falling

**Oppsie: I-I can't**

**Readers: You owe us, you haven't updated in AGES**

**Oppsie: Fine! *faces you* My next victim is Kitty. I am adding Duchess to this too because I was planning to do both, but I couldn't find much for either. I'm sorry for not updating. I would tell you about it but it'll take about half a page (or more) and I think you guys want to get to do the story. Don't forget to scroll right down to the bottom for an important announcement. Well, exciting in MY eyes.**

**Static**

Kitty: Chaos is keeping people guessing, and that, is what makes this kitty Purr

Me: *with notepad and pen* Chaos... is… keeping... can you repeat that?

Kitty: *hisses then leaves*

Me: HEY! That's MY thing!

Maddie: Actually, it's hers…. WHAT! It's TRUE!

Female Narrator: Indeed it is

Male Narrator: How dare you Oppsie

Me: Shouldn't you two make sure Brooke isn't burning down the invisible house?

**Static**

Kitty: You beat that wolf in a race! How do you do it? I'm all ears...

Me: Her dad is the Big Bad Wolf

Cerise: OPPSIE!

Me: It's TRUE!

**Static**

Duchess: *dancing about*

Me: WAIT UP FOR MEEEEE! *tries to do a pirouette but falls* He he….

Duchess: No. Just. No.

**Static**

Duchess: How can I ever repay you?

Humphrey: By playing it forward of course…

Me: No. Tell her to drown her ballet shoes or more DESERVING of Duchess' crimes.

Professor Piper: What are you doing in my class?

Me: Muse-ic. DUH! **[1]**

**Static**

Duchess: I'm not a part of Ever After High much, am I?

Me: Nope! Although you have your own doll and your own website profile…

Daring in the Background: THAT'S MORE THEN ME!

Me: NO ONE CARES DARING! NO ONE FLIPPING CARES!

**Static**

_Kitty: How dare she do this to us!?_

_Duchess: We need revenge_

_Kitty: I have the purrfect idea *disappears*_

_A few minutes later_

_Oppsie: I'm hungry…. I can't be bothered to tell my friend that I'm going *goes off to find food, leaving her phone open on 'hext messages'*_

_Kitty: He he he *steals it and returns to Duchess*_

_Oppsie: La de da de da… WHERE THE HEX IS MY PHONE!_

_**THE ANNOUMCENT! I'm making a one-shot. Before you throw tomatoes at me (BLARGH! I don't do tomatoes… I don't do a lot of things…) basically Kitty steals my phone and she texts my BFFA. This is going to be fun… I hope I see you soon! Cya around guys!**_

_**[1] Music is my FAVOURITE subject. I'm also actually really good at it. DIE MATHS!**_


	9. Call 911 Or 000 WHATEVER

**WHY YOU NO SUGGESTIONS! I actually had to choose! So if you don't want me to do her… err spoiler... TOO BAD! Because you didn't tell me who you wanted me to torture next. Thank you to all of those people who told me I was funny. Of course, I already knew that *flicks hair* HEY! Don't slap meh! Annoyed friend stop! Anyway, let's begin. Tghjhfg**

**Static**

Briar: *jumps down a window and Daring misses* Quick! Call the hospital! I have it on speed dial *hands Daring her phone*

Daring: Should I ask? *starts dialling*

Briar: No.

**Static**

Briar: Gotta fly! *eats part of cake and turns into a parrot*

Director: Let's do that again

Briar: *does it again and turns into a worm*

_**Several Takes Later**_

Briar: Gotta fly! *turns into a turtle and the rest of the scene goes on*

Director: FINALLY!

**Static**

Briar: Hello! Daughter of Sleeping Beauty! If I'm catching z's for one hundred years, I gotta make it up now!

Me: How does that work? Are you guys immortal, like, you don't age?

Apple: I… honestly don't know…

Briar: Neither….

**Static**

Briar: Just texting Apple that Daring is really strong

Hopper: and I turn into a frog... why?

**Static**

Briar: The Apple I know *blah blah blah I can't be bother to look it up, that, and EAH wikia is SLOW AS!*

Apple: Yeah… no.

Me: OOOH! Burn!

**Static**

Briar: True Hearts Day? I don't get it.

Cupid: Oh… *gasps* Charades

Briar: 48 words. A holiday that used to be spellebrated in the fairytale world that encourages us to follow our true heart's desire, but Headmaster Grimm doesn't want anyone to know about it, but you think we should spellebrate it anyway and throw a secret underground True Hearts Day dance? Why didn't you just say that?

Me: WHAT DA?! In a way it makes sense though….

**Static**

FINAL-ALLY! I am eating Apple… just kidding! Kinda… I'm eating AN apple, not Apple White…

Sorry, I just had to…

So I think Maddie will stop blowing up if we start doing rebels now. So, see you guys LATER!


	10. This is a Kids Show

**Ok, hello everyone! I am back… and sick again. I am actually doing this at school because I have nothing else to do, and I've done my work. Besides, my teacher will probably think I'm doing work. Anyway, let's get started. (PS: This took longer than 1 day, so, I'm now at home)**

_**Character of the Chapter: Sparrow Hood!**_

**Sorry to those who suggested others, don't worry, I won't forget them.**

**Static**

Sparrow: YEEEEEAH! *sticks out middle finger*

Me: THIS IS A KIDS SHOW! *slaps Sparrow repeatedly*

Judges: I guess Raven wins…?

**Static**

Sparrow: Jill Ted! Jack and Jill Teeeeed!

Ashlynn: How did you even get in here?

Sparrow: I was just shoppin' for ladies' shoes

Me: WAIT UP! YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN! *runs after him*

**Static**

Sparrow: Jack and Jill Ted! *whispers* The sequel

Me: Ok! I have my popcorn ready! *already starts to eat it*

Sparrow: You're not coming.

Me: Aw….. Oppsie sad.

**Static**

Sparrow: *strums guitar* YEAH!

Me: Ow, my eardrums…!

**Static**

Sparrow: You know what? I am done with you!

Duchess: What's ruffled your feathers?

Me: He doesn't HAVE feathers…. WELL HE DOESN'T! Also, Sparrow, take it back. You're apart of Thief Swan now. You can't back out.

Sparrow: Yes I can.

**Static**

Me: I AM AMAZING! I FINALLY FINISHED! I've actually been thinking on when to stop this. I mean, I can't continue this forever… or can I? That's not the point. When do you think I should stop? Leave a review down below telling me. Anyway, I'm off! See you around… I guess.


	11. HEDGEHOGS!

**Hi everyone *you glare at me* WHAAAAT? I only haven't updated for… almost a month but not really… *tomato gets thrown by SOMEONE* HEY! Watch it! I like this outfit! You better own up whoever did that! Anyway… enjoy. But guys, seriously (OMG I STARTED A SENTENCE WITH BUT! SOMEONE SUE ME! Not.) STOP PUTTING DOWN SUCH HARD ONES!**

**Character of the Chapter: Lizzie Hearts! Don't behead me.**

**Static**

Lizzie: *is collecting hedgehogs to throw at Cedar, Maddie and Kitty, then stops when she hears what they are going to do.*

Me: *throws a hedgehog at Lizzie's head* HEDGEHOG FIGHT!

**Static**

Lizzie: *is being chased by wolves in Basketball* Off with your heads! Off with your heads!

Me: *evil grin* Shirt-ripping time

Hunter: *rips shirt off and invisible heroic trumpets start playing*

**Static**

Lizzie: A retainer?

Me: …. I bet 5 bucks it's Apple's

**Static**

Daring: Check it out! I painted this just now.

Me: You put spaghetti to shame! And Cedar will agree. PASTA TWINSIES! **[1]**

Daring: *continues* am I charming or what?

Lizzie: No, you're not

Me: YEAH! DIE CHARMING! *gets killed by fan girls*

Everyone: DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD! WHICH WICKED OLD WITCH? T-

Me: *respawns* HA HA SUCKERS!

**Static**

Lizzie: As the Royal Team captain, and future Queen of Hearts, I demand you to BEAT THOSE REBELS!

Me: You can't do that. FIRST UP! May I point out that KITTY IS A REBEL!

Kitty: *glares at me from across wherever they are*

Me: Secondly! You can't DEMAND someone to win, but can you demand someone to lose. And THIRDLY! Thirdly… hmm… I'm stumped. **[2]** I got it! THIRDLY! HOW CAN YOU MAKE OUTFITS ALL OF A SUDDEN! It isn't mentioned in the books **[3]** and it doesn't appear until Spring Unsprung.

Lizzie: That has nothing to do with this.

Me: Sorry, but that's how I roll *gangster glasses fly onto my face*

**Static**

Me: Lizzie… Lizzie… NOPE! Nothing else worth mentioning. WAIT!

**Static**

Lizzie: *gets on the Ferris Wheel ride with Daring* **[4]**

Me: *falls to the floor* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *breath* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Person who ships Dizzie: YEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

**Static**

Me: Sooooo… Lizzie. How was it like to be frozen? No not the movie

Lizzie: OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!

Me: Nah, I like my head on my neck thank you

**Static**

**Yo! Ok, so… I'm now addicted to FNAF (Five Night's at Freddy's). Not necessarily the game, more the FanFiction and songs. Someone Save Me! It's actually funny because I once thought "OMG! I hate FNAF! It seems so scary! I'll never do ANYTHING with it… EVER!" but now… ok. You don't want to hear me ramble. On the plus side (and no one will really care but…) I GOT AN A IN MUSIC! I was SO happy. Anyway, here are the little… things… I don't know anymore.**

**[1] I love pasta. No other comment.**

**[2] Stumped as that little stump troll from the latest Webisode *laughs then realises no one else is laughing so stops***

**[3] Isn't mentioned in the books, meaning the Shannon Hale ones as I can't be stuffed reading the other series. It's not that I don't LIKE reading, I just don't like the sound of the other series.**

**[4] If you didn't see it, look in the carriage before the girls and Hopped get on. THEN you'll see it. Also, Cerise, everyone knows you can run fast, JUST PUSH THE DAMN CORK OFF!**

**Extra bit to make this look longer.**


	12. THE END OMG

**I am SOOOO sorry I haven't been updating at ALL!**

**I AM ALIVE!**

**So… yeah, I'm sorry. I'm also sorry but this story is ending… now. DON'T KILL MEH! The last idea someone sent it Maddie Hatter… and it kills me to do something to her. So I decided to celebrate the ending of the story by doing TRUTH OR DARE! Or… Dare or Truth. Thank you SO much to EVERYONE who gave me ideas!**

***static***

Oppsie: Hello! Yes, sadly this IS the last chapter so I'm celebrating with a Truth or Dare!

Cast: ….

Faybelle: We don't want to be here

Oppsie: Shut up…. Anyway, our first two dares are from PineQuapples, a Guest.

**Darling – Kiss the Red Knight and dye your hair blue and pink**

**Oppsie – Kiss a tree then eat ten thousand marshmallows then puke them all up**

Oppsie: Ok, Darling… you're dared to kiss the Red Knight, or Chase… *summons*

Chase: Hey

Oppsie: Then dare your hair blue and pink

Darling: Done! *kisses Chase*

Oppsie: *banishes Chase to Wonderland again* So now you have to dye your hair

Darling: *Dyes a few strands of hair pink* What? She/He didn't say how much and I already have blue hair

Oppsie: True… er… oh god. I will find you and kill you PineQuapples… where is the closet tree?

***Spongebob Narration (just because)* One Hour Later**

Oppsie: *kisses a cherry blossom tree because I refused to kiss anything else. I went to Japan quickly. Teleports back* Done! Now I have to eat ten thousand marshmallows… *starts eating*

***Spongebob Narration again!* Four Hours Later**

Oppsie: *barfs the marshmallows up*

Apple: Eeeeew!

Oppsie: It was a dare people! Besides, I was going to barf anyway. I will never look at a marshmallow the same way again…. Oh who am I kidding, NEXT DARE! From TheGreatStorycollector

**Alistair: Hop on one foot while you sing the American anthem.  
Lizzie: Take your scissors and cut Holly's favourite dress.  
Cedar: Paint Darling's face with your tongue.  
Kitty: Go and bring a Cthulhu to Land of Ever After.  
Grimm: Tell everyone that today starts special holiday that lasts forever**

Oppsie: Ok… Alistair. You have to hop on one foot while singing the American anthem

Alistair: Can do… *sings song*

Oppsie: Very nice… except I don't really like the lyrics and it's too long. Next… hehuhuhu. Lizzie, come here *whispers* **[1]**

Lizzie: *goes off to find Holly's dresses as we're sure she won't tell us*

Oppsie: Ok, while Lizzie does that. Cedar, you're paint Darling's face with your tongue… this can only end badly…

Cedar: *dips tongue in paint (chorus of 'ews') and paints Ashlynn's face… badly* Done! Was the paint non-toxic?

Oppsie: I forgot to check, but you're made of wood, you should be fine… hopefully… I hope you don't die. NEXT! Kitty… I forbid this dare. Half of it is because I had to Google what this creature is and I couldn't find any information. It also looks scary, so it means it's dangerous. Sorry, logic of Oppsie. Can't be ignored.

Kitty: Cool!

Oppsie: Now Grimm… oh I left him *gets out phone and calls him* Hello? Yes it's Satan. Yes… I don't care that I broke your unicorn figurines…. Yes everyone is here…. Yes you should be embarrassed. Anyway, you need to tell everyone that today is the start of a special holiday that lasts forever…. Just use the speakers, no need for social media…. What do you mean? …Oh! Because your face is ugly and it'll break everyone's screens. *hangs up* 3… 2… 1…

Grimm on Speaker **[2]**: Hello everyone. I amd here to inform you that a special holiday that lasts forever, starts today. The holiday is, 'everything is normal day'. Nothing really happens, apart from you MUST OBEY THE STORYBOOK OF LEGENDS *coughs* That'll be all.

Oppsie: …that sucked… from RavenQueenFan2605, bless her soul…

**Dare Sparrow to catch 20 pencils thrown by Dexter in a row. If he fails after 5 tries, tell Daring Sparrow stole all his mirrors! XD it's harder than you think; I've tried this. **

**Dare Kitty to listen to Anaconda full blast with headphones 10 times in a row. **

**Truth Poppy how many times has a hair style of hers been a flop**

Oppsie: Sparrow you're up

Sparrow: *plays a few cords* YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Oppsie: Anyway, you have to catch 20 pencils thrown by Dexter in a row. If you fail after 5 tries… well I'll get to that later… hehuhuhuhu

Sparrow: Easy! *fails on the first try* I wasn't ready!

Dexter: Sorry! *throws*

Sparrow: *fails again* UGH! *catches one* YAY! Er… 9 to go! Right?

Everyone: *face palm*

Sparrow: *misses the next one* Now I have to start over! *misses the rest*

Oppsie: Oh Aaaaaappleeeee! Can you please tell Daring that Sparrow stole all of his mirrors?

Apple: Sparrow stole all of your mirrors Daring...

Daring: WHAT! NO! *Starts crying and runs after Sparrow*

Sparrow: *plays a few cord* No I DIDN'T! *runs away*

Oppsie: Ok Kitty, you have to listen to Anaconda on full blast with headphone 10 times in a row…

Kitty: What's Anaconda?

Oppsie: You know, *insert accent here* 'mah anaconda don! Mah anaconda don! Mah anaconda don't want nun unless you got buns hun.' *end accent here* That song…

Kitty: You humans are weird

Oppsie: Why THANK YOU! Now go!

**1st Reaction**

Kitty: The music is hurting my ears

**2nd Reaction**

Kitty: Hm… now it's fine… at least I'm not watching it *shivers in disgust*

**3rd Reaction**

Kitty: Great, I have the chorus stuck in my head

**4th Reaction**

Kitty: This is getting really boring… and annoying

**5th Reaction**

Kitty: Almost done…. Almost done…

**6th Reaction**

Kitty: MAH ANACONDA DON'T WANNA LISTEN TO THIS SONG ANYMORE!

**7th Reaction**

Kitty: Please be over soon, please be over soon!

**8th Reaction**

Kitty: *tugs on her hair* Make it STOP!

**9th Reaction**

Kitty: I can't even get out of here

Oppsie Far Away: Ha, ha! Thanks for the spell book Raven!

**10th Reaction**

Kitty: FINALLY! *runs out screaming*

**With Everyone Else**

Oppsie: While Kitty is cooling off… let's do the last one, the first truth, Le gasp! Poppy, how many times has your hairstyles been a fairy-fail.

Poppy: Too many to count….

Oppsie: Wait… that's the end? Already? It means we're almost free!

Everyone: Yay!

Oppsie: Wait… has Lizzie done her dare yet?

Lizzie: I have the dress!

Holly: What is my dress doing here?

Lizzie: *cuts it up with scissors*

Holly: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Lizzie: Off with your Head!

Oppsie: That's…the end. I'm just realising how sad this is… well hopefully I'll make new ones soon!

Everyone: NOOOOO!

Oppsie: But it's ok as I probably won't torture you…

Everyone: HUZZARH!

Oppsie: *teleports everyone to their school* Well… it's officially the end. I hope I'll see you around… I have to pack up my house now and move on to do some other stuff… like let the other narrator, the less crazy one, finish a story of hers

Netti: Hey…

Oppsie: Netti was my old username, with an extra 876… I think…

Netti: Probably

Oppsie: Well bye!

***static***

**Oppsie: Well it's official. It's over. And I need a hug. My baby has grown up so fast. So… yeah, there's nothing else to really say. I may not update as much as I use to, as everyone saw, as I am a lazy bum and I have school. I was only able to complete this as I'm on my holidays! HA HA HA HA HA HA I'M AWESOME! If you're wondering why you couldn't send in truth or dares is that I only gave people who had accounts (and my real life friends…. Sh, I'm not bias…yes I amazingly have friends) the chance to send some in. It wasn't a lot, but beggars can't be choosers.**

**[1] – Holly would flip otherwise**

**[2] – I decided to add a speaker to my house**

**OH MY GOD IT ENDS I HAVE LESS OF A LIFE NOW!Well, ciao for now.**


End file.
